That Time I Married a Cult Member - Part 1
In 2001, I married a Moonie. If this was then, I would correct myself and say “Unificationist.” I would say, “Moonie is only okay for Moonies to say. If you aren’t in the church, it’s considered derogatory.” But it is not 2001, and I am no longer sympathetic to the organization or its members.
The Story Goes Like This
At the turn of the century, I met a man at a poetry reading named Victor. He identified as Afro-Caribbean and he had shoulder length dreadlocks, tight jeans and a Billie Holiday shirt. He was a folk singer. A black folk singer. I was a white rapper. It made a lot of sense at the time.
On our first date, while eating pho, he told me he belonged to a church that believed in ending racism and uniting humanity. He said he didn’t believe Jesus was coming back on the clouds or as a white dude in sandals. His church believed that the Second Coming would be birthed as a man and grow up just like Jesus did. But he wouldn’t be crucified. They believed that Jesus failed his mission because he was killed before he could get married and it turns out — marriage is the only way to get into heaven. The Second Coming Dude would wear suits and own a business and get married and have children and those children would be the start of a sinless generation. Also, Victor explained, he’s already alive. His name is Rev. Sung Myung Moon.
I sipped my pho, asked lots of questions and decided that it made as much sense as any other religion.
I’ve always loved religions. Not as a thing to practice but as a thing to collect, like purses — you never know which kind you might need on a given day, so it’s good to keep a few around. A religion that’s about world peace and ending racism? Seems worthy of the collection.
Fast forward six months and we were sitting in a Denny’s at 1am when Victor said, “So if this thing we’re doing keeps going well in like a year or so, do you want to get married?” I said, “Yea. Sure,” and took a bite of hash browns. Then it hit me. I said, “Did you just propose to me?” He looked up with surprise. “Yea. I guess I did.”
The Blessing
By this time, I understood that to get married in Victor’s church would mean attending “The Blessing.” For most Moonies seeking marriage, the first step is The Matching. This is where Rev. Moon literally points to two people and declares they are to get married. They believe that if two people share the same faith and values, they can come to love each other.
In our case, it was okay if we found each other but we would need to be blessed by the church. It just so happened that the World Peace Blessing was taking place at the United Nations in January of 2001.
Photo from mass wedding that took place at the United Nations in 2001. I’m all the way to the right so you can’t me in this photo.
The reason for The Blessing is their belief that in order to create a sinless lineage (free of original sin, not all sin) humanity needs to be “engrafted into the spiritual lineage of True Parents.” (That’s how all Unificationists refer to Rev. Moon and his wife.) To do this, there is first a Holy Wine Ceremony. This took place in The New Yorker Hotel which the Church owned at the time.
What I remember about the Holy Wine Ceremony was the speech Rev. Moon gave about how the holy wine would remove our shame. It would give us a blank slate. Everything that happened before this moment no longer matters. I remember taking the tiny plastic cup in my hand, drinking half of it and handing it to Victor to drink the other half. My face soaked with tears. I was 19. According to the Divine Principle, I had led a promiscuous life. Sex outside of marriage was considered the worst sin and I had had lots of that. Starting over with a blank slate felt like the biggest relief I had ever felt.
Victor saw my tears and thought I had just converted. By this time, I had just been supportive of his religion, I had not claimed it for my own. I never did but in that moment, Victor thought that I now believed in “True Father” as the Messiah.
To be continued….